War on Women

If you have listened to the news lately, you have probably heard that there is a war on women. In case you haven't, let me give you a brief run down of what that means. Because Christians do not believe that abortion should be a part of health care, there is a war on women. Because Christians do not believe that contraceptives should be provided by employers, there is a war on women.

Every time I hear that phrase, I just get sick to my stomach. War on Women... Really? The REAL war on women did not begin recently. In truth, it began with the Feminist Movement and the Sexual Revolution of the 60's.

This morning, as I was perusing Facebook, I ran across this quote from Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

One of the things the feminist movement has done so successfully is to stir up discontent in women with being homemakers and to convince them that other pursuits can increase their sense of self-worth… Fueling discontent and pushing women out of their homes in search of greater meaning and satisfaction has resulted in off-the-chart stress levels for many women who can no longer survive without pills and therapists… The greatest spiritual, moral, and emotional protection a woman will ever experience is found when she is content to stay within her God-appointed sphere. This does not mean that she never leaves her house, but rather that her heart is rooted in her home and that she puts her family’s needs above all other interests and pursuits.

I thought that is so perfect. As women, we have been told that in order to be happy, we have to find "SELF fulfillment." Therein lies the problem.... SELF! God did not create women to be self centered. He created us to be a help meet. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18 We were created to help our husbands. God designed us to nurture our children. He planned for us to be keepers of our home.

Here is the blueprint for the life of a woman:
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4-5

As was stated in the quote earlier, this does not mean that women can never leave the house. Look at the Proverbs 31 Woman. She bought and sold a field, and she made fine linen and sold sashes to merchants. She earned and invested money, but that was never her priority. Her priority was always her home. She watches over the ways of her household.

The way to win the War against women, is to dig deep into the Word of God. Seek His plans, and follow those plans. His way is not the easy way, but it is the right way. It will go against what the world tells you. However, if you follow the Word of God, you will have peace.

Proverbs 31 Woman - Her Sense of Self Worth

Proverbs 31:22 (NKJV)
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Verse 22 of Proverbs 31 discusses the sense of self worth of a virtuous wife. She thinks enough of herself to enjoy the luxuries her hard work makes possible for her.

Self worth is an area I have struggled with for years.... since childhood. In the past, I have needed the approval of others. This is a dangerous road to be on. If you are dependent upon others for approval, you are likely to do things that are not lovely in the sight of God. A lesson I have finally learned, although have to remind myself of daily, is this...

Our worth is NOT measured by what others think or say of us. Our worth comes from God. We need to know what He says about us.

So what does God say about us? If you are a child of God, here is a partial list of what God has to say:

* I am loved. 1 John 3:1
* I am accepted. Ephesians 1:6
* I am a child of God. John 1:12
* I am Jesus' friend. John 15:14
* I am a joint heir with Jesus, sharing His inheritance with Him. Romans 8:17
* I am a temple of God. His spirit and His life live in me. 1 Corinthians 6:19
* I am a member of Christ's body. 1 Corinthians 12:27
* I am redeemed and forgiven. Colossians 2:10
* I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:1
* I am a new creation because I am in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17
* I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved. Colossians 3:12
* I do not have a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
* I am God's co-worker. 2 Corinthians 6:1
* I have direct access to God. Ephesians 2:18
* I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by God. 2 Peter 1:4
* I can ask God for wisdom and He will give me what I need. James 1:5

When you are struggling with self-worth, choose to believe what God says about you. Get out your Bible, and let God's word minister to you.

The Proverbs 31 woman is secure in her relationship with God. She thinks enough of herself to want the best for herself, but always without causing harm to her family. Remember verses 11 and 12 "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life."

When we value ourselves, and want what is best for ourselves, it is reflected in the way we honor our husbands, the way we raise our children, the way we run our households. Being a wife of worth is hard work, but our hard work makes the luxuries possible.

As you mediate on verse 22 this week, think about this question: What is my worth? Dig deep into what God has to say about you, and enjoy the fruit of your labors.

Comparing Two Women

As many of you know, I have been studying the Proverbs 31 Woman for years. It is my desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman... some days I am closer than others, but I am definitely still a work in progress. Recently a verse concerning another woman caught my attention...

Proverbs 7:11 (NKJV)
She was loud and rebellious, Her feet would not stay at home.

This verse has really stuck with me. I immediately thought this is the me that I struggle against ... Naturally, I am loud and rebellious. However, God has been working on me to be gentle and quiet.

1 Peter 3:4 (NKJV)
rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

Since it is my desire is to be the Proverbs 31 Woman, and I have some characteristics (loud and rebellious) of the Proverbs 7 Woman, I decided to do a comparison of the two.

Here is the list of what I have found:

Proverbs 7 Woman
Dressed like a harlot
Proverbs 31 Woman
Dressed in fine linen & purple

Proverbs 7 Woman
Had a crafty heart
Proverbs 31 Woman
A woman who fears the Lord

Proverbs 7 Woman
Loud and rebellious
Proverbs 31 Woman
strength and honor

Proverbs 7 Woman
Away from home
Proverbs 31 Woman
Wakes early and stays up late watching over her household

Proverbs 7 Woman
Has peace offerings and pays vows
Proverbs 31 Woman
Extends her hand to the poor, and reaches her hand to the needy

Proverbs 7 Woman
Seeking men (not her husband)
Proverbs 31 Woman
Does her husband good, not evil
The heart of her husband safely trusts her

Proverbs 7 Woman
Colored covering of Egyptian linen
(Egypt represents bondage)
Proverbs 31 Woman
Her household is clothed in scarlet
(scarlet represents salvation)

Proverbs 7 Woman
enticing speech and flattering lips
Proverbs 31 Woman
Opens her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is on her tongue

The Proverbs 7 Woman is a Woman living outside of God's plan for her. The Proverbs 31 Woman is living God's plan. As Women, we are designed to be a helpmeet to our husbands. We are to be busy watching over the affairs of our households. When we eat the bread of idleness, and wander from our households, we fall prey to the bondage of sin.

I encourage you to read the account of these two women. In case you missed it, they are found in Proverbs 7 and Proverbs 31.

Proverbs 31 Woman - Her Impact

Proverbs 31:23 (NKJV)
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.

Verse 23 of Proverbs 31 discusses the impact of a virtuous wife. She is not simply known as her husband's wife: he is also respected as her husband!

For years this verse puzzled me. I could not figure out how me being a wife of worth could gain respect from others for my husband. Then one day, Jason shed light on it for me... and we weren't even discussing this verse. We were discussing a friend. This friend was struggling with his construction business. A business that had been thriving, but now he couldn't seem to stay on top of projects. He was losing respect among those working for him, and among those he was working for. (During this same time frame, this man and his wife were having difficulties at home. Divorce had been mentioned more than once.) I asked Jason why he thought this man was having such trouble with work. Here is the profound statement he made....

"When a man can't trust his wife to maintain his household, his attention is divided. He can't focus on his job, for worrying about his home."

Wow! All at once verse 23 clicked for me!!! When a husband has confidence in his wife to maintain his home and children, he can focus on providing for his family. When his focus is on his job, he will excel at it.... Thus he will gain the respect of those that he works with and for. I never realized that by me doing what God designed me to do, being my husband's helpmeet, I was impacting the reputation of my husband.

Some time after this revelation, I found a note tucked into one of my Bibles. It was a note written by Jason to me after some argument... I have no idea about what, but probably something trivial that I blew out of proportion... I am working on that. I am going to share that note now, I think that it explains this concept better than I ever could. (It is sweet ladies, so get ready to say awww!)

Kerry,
I love you very much my Dear. I don't like it at all when we are in opposition with each other. When I feel that all is right between us, then I feel I can conquer the world... You are my biggest supporter & encourager. If not for you, I would not be able to do my duties as a husband, father & provider. Thank you for your support.

I don't often tell you how proud I am of you, but the truth is, I'm very proud of you. You are one of the most selfless women I know. You are not a "high maintenance," "Must-go-shopping," "You keep the kids" kind of woman. I think you are a great teacher, educator, and encourager for our kids. I'm gad that we are a team, and you complement my "OCD" behavior very well. If not for you, I don't know that I would have pulled through this last year (2008) with a zeal for life and a warrior mentality that I have today. Thank you for your support, encouragement, love & prayers.

Please continue to pray for me as I battle demons inside my own head, as I'm concerned about finances, as I'm concerned about the direction I'm taking us in ... I know God has worked a true miracle in our lives in 2009 and he used your as a strong support for me. Thank you! Without your love for me, I feel terrible... I want us to work as a team, as a unit with a common goal. I love you so much, and I know I don't communicate it very well, very often, but I am proud of you; I'm glad, honored to have you as my wife & partner!

I love you,
Jason

In order for our husbands to have respect elsewhere, we must respect our husband at home. Are we setting our husbands up to "conquer the world" and giving him a "warrior mentality" ? Or do we belittle him and make him feel useless?

As you reflect on verse 23, ask yourself these questions...
How do I treat my husband?
Does my husband trust me to maintain his household?
Do I pray for my husband daily? (Does he know?)

What impact do you have on your husband? Is he respected among his peers because he excels at his work? Or is he distracted because he can't fully trust you to hold up your end of the marriage partnership?