Proverbs 31:10-12 (NKJV)
The Virtuous Wife
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
Verses 10-12 of Proverbs 31 discusses the character of a virtuous wife. She is virtuous, trustworthy, and committed to doing good.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her
When Jason and I were first married, I was handling all the bills. We did not discuss this arrangement. I just assumed that I would, and Jason didn't rock the boat. Not only did I handle the bills, I never ran anything past Jason. Never asked his advice or permission. During this same time frame, we had several credit cards. Credit cards with ever increasing balances. As the balances increased, the more guilt I felt, and the more I hid this fact from Jason. I told myself it was to protect him. I didn't want him to be upset. I didn't want to cause him to stress. I had all sorts of excuses I would tell myself, trying to ease my on conscience. The truth is, I did not want Jason mad at me or to consider me a failure. I went to great lengths to make sure Jason didn't find out. I made sure I always got to the mailbox first, and would be stressed to the max if by some chance he picked up the mail instead of me.
Needless to say, I did not have much peace during this time frame. Then one day, Jason opened the mail before I got home. The scene that followed was not pleasant. We worked through the argument, through the debt, and created a better way to handle the bills. A way in which we both knew what was going on in our accounts. What we did not work through as quickly, was the lack of trust between Jason and myself. For years, there was always a wall of distrust between us when it came to money.
Thankfully, now I can say that Jason trusts me in all areas. He trusts me to run our household and raise our children. He knows that I will come to him with whatever I need to. He trusts me not to hide anything from him and not to lie to him. I had to earn that trust, and I am honored that he now bestows that trust on me.
She does him good and not evil
This one seems like a no brainer, right? Of course we are not going to do evil toward our husband. Really? What about the times that we are talking about his "irritating habits" with our girlfriends? What about the times when we have a fight, and we call our moms/sisters/friends and tell them everything that was said? What about the times we publicly role our eyes or make jokes at his expense? What about ...? This list really could go on and on and on.... Are we really causing good to him during these times?
As wives, we really need to pay attention to what we say with our words and our body language concerning our husbands. We need to honor him in the way we act and react. I know a lady that when asked to tell something about herself, one of the first things that she says is that she is married to the best man in the world. It is not just words she utters, you can see in your eyes that she believes it 100%. I have never met her husband, but I have a very positive opinion of him because of her. What opinion do others have of your husband? Are you bringing him good? Or causing him harm?
All the days of her life
Finally, it is important to realize that this is not something we can do for a few days here and there. This is daily living. Good days, bad days, average days ... Everyday we are to live in a manner that our husband knows we have his best interest at heart.
As you focus on verses 10 - 12, Ask God to help you answer these questions:
What are your motives?
Are you committed to doing your husband good? Or are you promoting/protecting yourself?
Seek out other passages of scripture that deals with virtue or trust. You will be amazed at the work God will do on your heart toward your husband. Ask God to create in you the character of the Proverbs 31 Woman.