Last week, one of my aunts passed away. I spent the latter part of the week surrounded by family. That is a good thing. However, there is one family member that always leaves me a little anxious to be around. You see, this person hurt me when I was a young child. I am past this hurt, rarely share this hurt, have tried to forget this hurt, but have never forgiven the person who hurt me. I didn't think God would care if I didn't forgive this one person, after all, I rarely saw this person.
At one point during the week, I was hugging and offering my sympathy to several people. As I went from one person to the next, I quickly realized I was face to face with the one who hurt me. I immediately knew I had a choice. I could just walk away, or I could pretend like everything was fine and hug this person also.
God had a bigger decision for me however. He spoke to my heart and told me that I could forgive this person, or live with the unforgiveness for the rest of my life. This was my moment of truth. I could chose to forgive, just like God has forgiven me, or I could walk away and continue to carry this burden. I chose to forgive and to hug.
I walked away from that moment overwhelmed with relief and freedom. I had held myself prisoner for years, and hadn't even realized it. It is not for me to decide who is worthy of my forgiveness. Jesus died that we may all be forgiven and set free.
In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part. Matthew 6:14-15 (The Message)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Rotten Meat
The first summer after I graduated high school, I worked as a checker at a grocery store. A common occurrence while working there was to see customers walking in carrying a bag at arms length. Inevitably, they would walk up to the first available employee and ask them to smell what was in the bag. It was always meat that had been purchased recently, but was bad. Not just bad, it was rotten. The smell that came from that bag reeked! Do you have a vision of this? Can you imagine the offensive odor?
As you think of this, read the following verse:
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV)
As I read this verse recently, I immediately thought of that rotten meat from years ago. I also realized that in my seventeen years of marriage I have often missed the mark as the crown to my husband. Instead, I have been the rottenness... I have been like that decaying, stinking, foul meat to my husband.
God designed me to be a helper to my husband. My job is to encourage, advise, work with, serve (yes, ladies, I used that word), build up and bring glory to my husband. When I spend time nagging, whining, demanding, or any other selfish term you can think of, I am not being the crown.
It is my desire to be all that God designed me to be... It is my desire to be the crown of my husband.
As you think of this, read the following verse:
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV)
As I read this verse recently, I immediately thought of that rotten meat from years ago. I also realized that in my seventeen years of marriage I have often missed the mark as the crown to my husband. Instead, I have been the rottenness... I have been like that decaying, stinking, foul meat to my husband.
God designed me to be a helper to my husband. My job is to encourage, advise, work with, serve (yes, ladies, I used that word), build up and bring glory to my husband. When I spend time nagging, whining, demanding, or any other selfish term you can think of, I am not being the crown.
It is my desire to be all that God designed me to be... It is my desire to be the crown of my husband.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Phone Call
I used to wonder why in movies people would sit down before receiving bad news. I always thought it was odd that people thought words would knock them off their feet. Well, I don't think that anymore. I received a phone call seven years ago that literally dropped me to my knees.
It was a Friday, and it was Valentine's day. Jason was working with the youth banquet at church, so I had a date with a very handsome 2 year old. Jason and I had planned on going out the next night. I was teaching at the time, so after school, I picked Ethan up and headed home. Jason was already at the church setting up. As Ethan played and I was getting ready for the evening, the phone rang.
My niece Amanda was calling to tell me that my niece Charlie and nephew Hamp had been in a car wreck on the way home from school. Charlie was being transported to the hospital, but Hamp was dead. He was 12 years old. After a few questions, I hung up the phone. That is when I fell to the ground. I felt like my legs had been swept out from underneath me.
As quickly as I could, I got myself under control and tried calling Jason. He didn't answer his cell phone, so I called the church office. I don't know who answered the phone to begin with, but when I asked for Jason they went to look for him. I thought I had my emotions and voice under control, but I must not have. In just a few moments, one of the deacons, Butch Kee was on the phone. He started his conversation saying, "Kerry, we can't find Jason. What is wrong?" I told him that my niece and nephew had been in a car wreck and that my nephew had died. I never told him their names. He found Jason for me and sent him home. We quickly packed and headed to Camden.
Butch's son Jeff Kee was the band director for my niece and nephew. Butch called his son, and before most people had heard the news, Jeff was at the hospital to check on my family. That weekend, Jeff, his family, and other families from the band ministered to my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and all of us.
I don't have the answer of why Hamp died that day, but I know without a doubt that God was looking out for those of us left behind grieving. I don't believe that it was a coincidence that Jason didn't answer his phone or that Butch Kee was the one I spoke to. God laid the ground work for the team of people that ministered to my family. I would like to thank each person that stepped up that weekend, changed their plans, and just took the time to allow God to use them to help us.
It was a Friday, and it was Valentine's day. Jason was working with the youth banquet at church, so I had a date with a very handsome 2 year old. Jason and I had planned on going out the next night. I was teaching at the time, so after school, I picked Ethan up and headed home. Jason was already at the church setting up. As Ethan played and I was getting ready for the evening, the phone rang.
My niece Amanda was calling to tell me that my niece Charlie and nephew Hamp had been in a car wreck on the way home from school. Charlie was being transported to the hospital, but Hamp was dead. He was 12 years old. After a few questions, I hung up the phone. That is when I fell to the ground. I felt like my legs had been swept out from underneath me.
As quickly as I could, I got myself under control and tried calling Jason. He didn't answer his cell phone, so I called the church office. I don't know who answered the phone to begin with, but when I asked for Jason they went to look for him. I thought I had my emotions and voice under control, but I must not have. In just a few moments, one of the deacons, Butch Kee was on the phone. He started his conversation saying, "Kerry, we can't find Jason. What is wrong?" I told him that my niece and nephew had been in a car wreck and that my nephew had died. I never told him their names. He found Jason for me and sent him home. We quickly packed and headed to Camden.
Butch's son Jeff Kee was the band director for my niece and nephew. Butch called his son, and before most people had heard the news, Jeff was at the hospital to check on my family. That weekend, Jeff, his family, and other families from the band ministered to my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and all of us.
I don't have the answer of why Hamp died that day, but I know without a doubt that God was looking out for those of us left behind grieving. I don't believe that it was a coincidence that Jason didn't answer his phone or that Butch Kee was the one I spoke to. God laid the ground work for the team of people that ministered to my family. I would like to thank each person that stepped up that weekend, changed their plans, and just took the time to allow God to use them to help us.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Golf Rules
Golf is a game of many rules. Granted, I personally believe that some of those rules are stupid, but never the less, they are the rules. Unlike most sports, golf is a game that does not have referees or umpires. If you break a rule, you must call it on yourself. That is why golf is also a game of integrity.
Ethan is playing the North Texas Junior PGA tour this summer. Jason acts as his caddy on most events. If Jason is not available, then the job falls to me. Jason is well versed in the rules of golf. Because of this, there have been a couple of occasions where Ethan has broke one of the rules not realizing it. Jason has pointed it out to him, and Ethan has taken the penalty strokes. Even though this is the correct thing, I don't always have good feelings toward Jason for pointing this out while in tournament. I have reasoned, that he could just mention it to him later. That way Ethan would know the rule in the future, but not be penalized. However, that would not be the correct thing to do. After all, we want to instill good character in our son. Jason is doing the right thing.
Earlier this week, Ethan observed another player breaking one of the rules. He recognized it, because it is one of the things he had done in an earlier tournament. I immediately jumped on the "justice bandwagon." You know, what is fair for one is fair for everyone. I wanted that kid to receive penalty strokes. I even went so far as to tell Jason that if that kid didn't receive the strokes, Jason would have to apologize to Ethan for making him take them in another tournament. I know... I think I was missing the point in all this... but it is hard to back a mother hen down when she feels her chick has been harmed.
Ethan on the other hand was not out for justice. He instead gave mercy. He pointed out to the other player what he was doing wrong. Then he told him that because he didn't know the rule, he would not call him on it.
Isn't that exactly what God does for us. When the world cries out for justice, God grants mercy. And because of this, we should be willing to grant mercy to others. We always want to receive mercy, but are we ready to grant it? Obviously, I need a little more work in this area.
Ethan has declared since he was 4 years old that he would be a missionary on the golf course. I think he is meeting his call. What do you think?
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Lesson Learned from Dog Poo
Two years ago, Ethan's dog Duke was hit by a truck and killed. He was heart broken. We were in the process of selling our house and moving into rental property while we built or bought the next house. Because of this, we waited on getting another dog. When we found a place to rent, we had to sign a no pet policy. I told Ethan that after we had been there for a little while, I would talk to the landlords about us getting a pet.
Two days after moving in, a stray dog wandered up. She was nearly starved to death, and covered with fleas and ticks. I am quite certain that had we not taken pity on her, she would have died shortly. We fed her and cleaned her up. She appears to be a rat terrier, and looked liked someones pet. We called around to see if someone had lost her. I explained the situation with to the landlord, and she said for us to keep the dog if we wanted. God gave us a dog. We have had Prissy Missy for two years now.
At first, we kept her outside. I wasn't thrilled about having a house dog. However, as the weather got cold, I was the one to bring her inside. I have never made her go back to being an outside dog. She is really a precious dog, and a good watch dog. She is quick to alert us when a stranger approaches. And, here is the best part, we never had to house break her. I decided that when God gives you a dog, He takes care of the training as well. She rarely has accidents in the house... please notice I did not say never...
Last night, Erin woke me up to tell me she was going to the bathroom. As I waited in the hall for her, Ethan said something to me. I stepped toward his room to speak to him, and stepped in dog poo!!! Yuck!!!!!
First, I cleaned my foot. Then I cleaned the hall. Then I scrubbed my hands and foot again. Everything was cleaned up before heading back to bed. However, as I was getting back in bed I was thinking, "I hope I don't still have poo on my foot that I am getting on my sheets." Even after getting in bed, I still kept thinking about having poo on my foot. It was grossing me out. (As I am sure this subject is doing to you now!)
As I lay there, I realized that that is exactly what we do with sin in our life. We confess it to God, receive his cleansing, but still dwell on how unclean we are. The truth is we are clean! If we continue to dwell on it, we are allowing Satan to rob us of the gift that God has already given us. So, the next time you are worried about the "poo" of sin still being on you, remember what God's word says in 1 John 1:9. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Two days after moving in, a stray dog wandered up. She was nearly starved to death, and covered with fleas and ticks. I am quite certain that had we not taken pity on her, she would have died shortly. We fed her and cleaned her up. She appears to be a rat terrier, and looked liked someones pet. We called around to see if someone had lost her. I explained the situation with to the landlord, and she said for us to keep the dog if we wanted. God gave us a dog. We have had Prissy Missy for two years now.
At first, we kept her outside. I wasn't thrilled about having a house dog. However, as the weather got cold, I was the one to bring her inside. I have never made her go back to being an outside dog. She is really a precious dog, and a good watch dog. She is quick to alert us when a stranger approaches. And, here is the best part, we never had to house break her. I decided that when God gives you a dog, He takes care of the training as well. She rarely has accidents in the house... please notice I did not say never...
Last night, Erin woke me up to tell me she was going to the bathroom. As I waited in the hall for her, Ethan said something to me. I stepped toward his room to speak to him, and stepped in dog poo!!! Yuck!!!!!
First, I cleaned my foot. Then I cleaned the hall. Then I scrubbed my hands and foot again. Everything was cleaned up before heading back to bed. However, as I was getting back in bed I was thinking, "I hope I don't still have poo on my foot that I am getting on my sheets." Even after getting in bed, I still kept thinking about having poo on my foot. It was grossing me out. (As I am sure this subject is doing to you now!)
As I lay there, I realized that that is exactly what we do with sin in our life. We confess it to God, receive his cleansing, but still dwell on how unclean we are. The truth is we are clean! If we continue to dwell on it, we are allowing Satan to rob us of the gift that God has already given us. So, the next time you are worried about the "poo" of sin still being on you, remember what God's word says in 1 John 1:9. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Monday, July 12, 2010
Summer of Frivolous Reading
Several months ago, God put on my heart a desire to learn and to share with other women how to be the women He intends for us to be. I have spent a lot of time researching various Bible studies on this subject. None seemed to be what God was directing me to study. I was quickly becoming burnt out on reading.
As summer began, I realized that I was going to be sitting by the pool with my kids a lot. (I know, a hard life I have!!!!) Now since my skin only has three tones, (white, off white, and red) working on my tan is not a priority. So I decided I would spend my time reading. However, my heart was not into any heavy Bible study reading. So, I decided I would pull out my old Christian fiction novels. I call it my summer of frivolous reading. I have enjoyed it so much! In fact, I have been refreshed because of it.
Besides refreshing my mind, God has used this time to point out something very important to me. (Isn't it funny how God uses even our "down time" to teach us a lesson.) He is the one who has put this desire in my heart, therefore, it is His word where I will find what I am looking for. He has started me at Proverbs 31:10-31.
I am challenging all ladies reading this to read this Proverbs 31:10-31 at least 10 times over the next month. Ask God to open your heart to any insight He may give you. Write down what you learn, and share it with others. I would love for you to share with me. I am sure that I will be sharing more on this in the future. I look forward to seeing all that God is about to do in our lives and the lives of our families.
As summer began, I realized that I was going to be sitting by the pool with my kids a lot. (I know, a hard life I have!!!!) Now since my skin only has three tones, (white, off white, and red) working on my tan is not a priority. So I decided I would spend my time reading. However, my heart was not into any heavy Bible study reading. So, I decided I would pull out my old Christian fiction novels. I call it my summer of frivolous reading. I have enjoyed it so much! In fact, I have been refreshed because of it.
Besides refreshing my mind, God has used this time to point out something very important to me. (Isn't it funny how God uses even our "down time" to teach us a lesson.) He is the one who has put this desire in my heart, therefore, it is His word where I will find what I am looking for. He has started me at Proverbs 31:10-31.
I am challenging all ladies reading this to read this Proverbs 31:10-31 at least 10 times over the next month. Ask God to open your heart to any insight He may give you. Write down what you learn, and share it with others. I would love for you to share with me. I am sure that I will be sharing more on this in the future. I look forward to seeing all that God is about to do in our lives and the lives of our families.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
"I Trusted God"
As I was folding clothes, Erin ran up to me and said she wanted to show me something. I walked into the living room to see what it was. She sat on the couch, bowed her head in an obvious prayer, stood up, fell back, and did a back roll over. When I asked how she knew how to do that, she looked at me as if I had just asked the dumbest question ever, and responded, "I trusted God."
God's word tells us we are to have the faith of a child. Yet how often do we need direction, and fail to do the one thing needed... Trust God. Right now, as I type this, I have a couple of "back roll overs" that I need to make a decision on. I have prayed, but I have not simply trusted God with them. Instead, I have continued to wrestle with all the what ifs, and tried to come up with reasonable solutions. God doesn't always work with reasonable. As a matter of fact, He specializes in the unpredictable.
So... I have prayed, I am standing on His Word, I am falling back in His protection, and I trust God.
God's word tells us we are to have the faith of a child. Yet how often do we need direction, and fail to do the one thing needed... Trust God. Right now, as I type this, I have a couple of "back roll overs" that I need to make a decision on. I have prayed, but I have not simply trusted God with them. Instead, I have continued to wrestle with all the what ifs, and tried to come up with reasonable solutions. God doesn't always work with reasonable. As a matter of fact, He specializes in the unpredictable.
So... I have prayed, I am standing on His Word, I am falling back in His protection, and I trust God.
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