What are we Teaching our Daughters?

A few weeks ago, I was preparing supper for friends. As I was peeling potatoes, I thought of something my mama told me when I was young. "You always peel one potato for each person eating, and one for the pot." Now I have no idea why the pot needs a potato, but to this day I always add an extra one. By the way, I usually have plenty of potatoes and very few leftovers... there must be some logic to that hungry pot after all.

Now I realize that this is just a silly helpful hint, but it made consider something else. I use many tips and tidbits that I learned, from my mama and other women, while growing up. Some are important, some I need to lose, and some are just funny memories that make me smile. As I pondered this, I thought what am I passing on to my daughter? Then I thought, what should I be teaching my daughter?

The Bible gives a very clear outline of what older women are to teach younger women in Titus 2:3-5

the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

It tells us to admonish... so what does that mean? Here is the definition:
Admonish
1 a: to indicate duties or obligations to
b: to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner
2: to give friendly earnest advice or encouragement to

Now, in case you missed it in the verses above, here are the 7 things older women should admonish young women to do...

1.Love their husband.
2.Love their children.
3.Be discreet.
4.Be chaste.
5.Be homemakers.
6.Be good.
7.Be obedient to their own husband.

So, I leave you with this question... Is this what we are teaching?

I Don't Want to be a Gullible Woman

A few weeks ago, I was reading from 2 Timothy. Here are the first 5 verses of Chapter 3:

1 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!

Now that is pretty powerful, and I believe that it definitely applies to the times we are living in. However, it is the next two verses that has really clung to me.

6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Wow! The first thing I thought was, "Thankfully I am not a gullible woman." I immediately felt God say, "Oh really? Are you sure?" Talk about humbling... there is nothing like being prideful and having God shut you down! Now my first instinct was to argue. I wanted to say that I do not let perilous men like described in the first 5 verses in my house. I am not led away by my lusts. However, I didn't argue. Instead, I asked God to show me how I am being a gullible woman. I wanted to know how I was letting these things creep into my house, how am I being led astray. So, I began watching for God to reveal to me areas in which I need to be more guarded.

This is an ongoing lesson, but here is what I have discerned so far...

The first area that I am letting "perilous men" creep into my house is the television. I like to have some sort of noise going at all times. This stems from growing up as the only child remaining at the home of a divorced mother working shift work. I was home a lot by myself, and therefore wanted noise. To this day, I want the TV or radio on. I may not be paying attention, but the background noise is comforting to me. I am very selective about what channels or stations I have on. However, God showed me that even if it is a "good" station, there could be bad things I am allowing in my house. Now, I am not saying that we will be getting rid our television. I am saying that I will limit (even more closely than before) what is being watched and when. Another side effect of the TV being on all the time, is that both me and my children have a tendency to stop when something on TV catches our eye. It is then that we become idle instead of productive or creative.

The second area that I am letting "perilous men" creep into my house is Facebook. Ouch, yea that one hurt! It is also a little ironic that I will be posting this blog on my facebook page. I don't sit hours in front of the computer creepin on facebook. I do however check it every couple of hours to see what is going on in the lives of others. I would justify this by saying things like, "I may miss a prayer request if I don't check my page regularly." How's that for putting a church spin on things??? I am a keeper of my home. That is what God designed me to be. I can't be a keeper of my home and everybody else's home at the same time. Facebook is good for staying in touch with friends and family. However, do I really need to know that Susie Housecoat took her dog to the vet? Do you really need to know that I went to Wal Mart? I have already started, and will continue to limit my time on facebook. I will not be dropping my facebook account. I will, however, not spend hours each day creepin on my friends. I will not check constantly throughout the day to be sure I haven't missed something. Facebook is another way in which I tend to become idle instead of productive.

Have you noticed that both the television and Facebook create idle time. It is during our idle time, that Satan can come in to decieve. It is then that we can be "led away by our various lusts." In Proverbs 31 God's word gives us a picture of a virtous wife. If you see, she is busy "doing". She is not idle. As a matter of fact in verse 27, it says that she "does not eat the bread of idleness."

When I bow down before Him, I do not want to hear, "Gullible Woman, you allowed perilous men to creep into your house, and you were led astray." Instead, I want to hear, "well done my good and faithful servant."

What about you? Are there areas you are allowing perilous men into your house? Are you being led astray? Ask God to show you where you need to be more guarded.

Change You Can Count On

Over the last couple of months, God has been working on an area of my life that I need to change. (Today's blog is not about that, although I am sure that there will be a future blog concerning it.) As I was thinking about this change, and how much further I have to go with it, I thought of how many things God has changed in me over the last few years. It was then that I came to a realization... The more time you spend in God's word, the more you change. The more time you spend out of His word, the more you conform to the world. (Some of you have probably known this for a long time, but please remember, sometimes I am slow.)

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

Through the years, I have come across verses that have opened my eyes to areas in my life where I am out of balance with God's plan for me. Some of these have been easy, even welcome changes. Other times, I have spent weeks, yes even months, studying scripture to be sure I understand the change needed. During that time of study, and for a long time after, the change takes place.

As I look at the world around me, I am sure of one thing... there are a lot of people that are not spending time in God's word. The only way that we are going to be able to change what is around us, is to first be transformed by God. Instead of trying to fix things by the world's standards, we need to be in balance with God's plans for us.

I will leave you with this question, are you seeking God through His word, and accepting the changes He requires? Or are you skimming or even skipping God's word, and living outside of God's plan for you?

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-32

No Peace When You are Hiding

I have a well meaning family member who often brings my past mistakes up to me. The intention is always to show me a way in which to hide my past. It disturbs this person, that I am not interested in hiding my past mistakes.

I spent years trying to hide, cover, or avoid past sins (both those done to me and done by me). During the years that I tried covering my past, I stayed nervous and fearful. I was constantly afraid that someone would figure out "who" I was. That is all behind me now. God has shown me that I am no longer the things of my past.

I confessed all of it to God, then I let go of it. I cling to 1 John 1:9

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

Since I finally let go of my past, I have found a few things to be true: (these are only a few that come to mind as I type, and in no particular order)

*There is no peace when you are hiding.

* Even though you are afraid most people know what you've done,are talking about you and judging you, most people don't know.

* Once you have confessed your sins to God, and changed your actions, people don't care when they find out.

* When you are in the midst of hiding your sin, your imagination is far worse than reality.

* Sin is sin. Even though people may qualify sin, God doesn't. Sin, of any sort, separates us from God. Confession restores our relationship with Him.

* When God prompts me to share my testimony, it has always helped others who are struggling with their past (or current) sins.

* God was not surprised by my choices, and He has used them to mold me into the person I am today.

I have found that living in the light of God is much better than hiding in the dark. If you are caught up in the "hiding" game, I pray that you trust God with whatever it is. Give it to Him, and allow His peace to flow over and through you.

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15

Where is the Modesty?

Okay, I am just going to go ahead and jump off into this... Every summer, I dread seeing all the beach pictures on facebook. Don't get me wrong, I love to see the ocean, the sand, and all the cool family photos. What I hate is all the girls that feel they need to post pics of themselves in bikinis... And let's face it, it is not just the beach wear that lacks a little in the material department. I truly cannot understand why girls (of all ages) feel they have to show off everything that God gave them. Even at church this morning, I found myself appalled by some of the apparel. I often find myself asking the question, Where is the Modesty?

While studying modesty in scripture, I came across a commentary by Andrew Wommack on the scripture 1 Timothy 2:9. I want to share it with you now. (You can go to awmi.net for further commentary or more information on Andrew Wommack.)

1 Timothy 2:9
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

Note 1 at 1 Tim. 2:9: Paul had just admonished men to be holy, without wrath and doubting. In a similar way, he now instructs women how to behave.

Note 2 at 1 Tim. 2:9: There is much contention over what "modest" is. What is acceptable dress in one culture is offensive in another. What is modest in one era would be considered risque in another. Yet, despite the hazards of trying to define modesty, the scriptures demand that we make an attempt.

Our English word "modest" comes from a Latin word meaning "moderate." This is significant because it means that the word "modest" is promoting the idea of being moderate. Whatever the culture or styles of the day, a modest person is one who will not embrace the extreme. Those who embrace styles and fashions that differ from their culture's norms, are usually not modest.

Therefore, it is appropriate to at least partially define modesty by a comparison to those around us. The attitude of "who cares what others think. I'm an individual. I march to my own drum," is an extreme and selfish attitude that violates modesty. A person can become extreme on opposite ends of the spectrum. Those who hold to the styles of the 1700's, in an attempt to be modest, are also extreme.

So, moderation is one of the key elements of modesty. Paul goes on to reveal that immodesty puts an undue emphasis on the external looks while true godliness places the importance on the hidden man of the heart.

Note 3 at 1 Tim. 2:9: Peter makes a similar statement about the dress of women, in 1 Peter 3:3-5 (see parallel Scriptures). In this passage, Peter mentions the way the hair is fixed, wearing gold, and the type of apparel.

Some people have interpreted these passages to say that women cannot braid their hair, wear gold, pearls, or expensive clothing. However, that's missing the point. The way Peter stated it in 1 Peter 3:3, was that women were not suppose to put on apparel. Does that mean they aren't suppose to wear clothes? Certainly not!

The point is that the emphasis should not be on how we look outwardly. In both passages, the instructions on dress are followed by the revelation that it is the inner person who makes one beautiful. That is repeated other places in scripture. Proverbs 19:22 says, "Kindness makes a man attractive. . ." (LB). This is the true beauty of a Christian.

Each person has a desire to be attractive. This need should be fulfilled by our conduct and good works, not by our outward appearance. Gold, pearls and expensive clothing can be worn, but the admonition is not to be gaudy with these things. Let your true beauty come from your heart, which is hidden.

Note 4 at 1 Tim. 2:9: Costly is a relative term. Some garments that might be considered cheap in the United States might be worth a year's wages in some third world countries. Therefore, just as with the word "modest" (see note 2 at this verse), "moderation" is a key word in describing what costly means. Our dress should be appropriate to the situation and culture where we live.

Put His Name on It

Last night, Jason made a statement that has stuck with me. We were discussing an ad we are running in a local magazine advertising our business. As we were looking at the proof, he decided to add Proverbs 16:3 to it. He said that he just felt like God was telling him to "put His name on it." Jason has that scripture reference on his truck already.

For those of you wondering, that verse says, "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."

As I have thought about that statement, Put His Name on It, I have thought about moms that write their children's names in articles of clothing, on toys, on movies, etc... Names are put on things to declare ownership. How much more important is it then to place God's name on things. After all, He owns everything. He is only allowing us to use them and care for them.

We place His name on things by displaying (or wearing) verses or Christian symbols. The next part of that thought, is how it applies to us as we have His name on the things we are using.

First, when we borrow someone elses property, we tend to take more care and caution while using that property. In the same way, when we are using God's property, we should take care not to abuse or cause harm to what belongs to God.

Second, when we put God's name on it, people are going to look at us to see if we are different. That doesn't mean that we should go about acting "holier than thou", it does however mean that we should act set apart. We should not act like Joe Blow off the street. We should act like the favored child of God we are. Our actions should make non-believers take note and want what we got.

So I ask you, have you "Put His Name on It?"

The Art and Understanding of a Child

Erin is my "artsy" child. She is always drawing, coloring, cutting, painting, taping ... creating! So on Sunday, as we are eating lunch with friends, I wasn't surprised that Erin was drawing on the back of kid's menu. What did surprise me was the explanation of her picture.

As I was visiting with the adults, Erin asked me what I thought of her picture. I told her it was beautiful. Admittedly, that is a standard answer when she shows me her art work. Then she asked me if I knew who it was. Looking at the hair on each figure, I asked if it was me and her. She rolled her eyes and said no... then gave me this explanation...

She pointed to the figure on the left and told me that was Daniel. She then pointed to his hair, and said that in heaven Daniel has LOTS of hair. The figure on the right is God, and the ball at the bottom is the earth. She said that they are in heaven, and God is showing Daniel what a good job he did while on earth.

I sat there amazed at the understanding of my 6 year old. For those of you that don't know, our nephew Daniel died a few weeks ago. He was 30 years old, and had battled cancer for over 4 years. He was indeed an amazing young man, and touched the lives of many individuals. We have spoke with Erin concerning Daniel, but honestly we have never gone into many details with her. Just the basics that we thought she could comprehend. Obviously, she discerns much more than we have given her credit for.

As I think of her drawing, and her explanation, two verses come to mind. I want to share them with you ...

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” Matthew 19:14

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! from Matthew 25

I pray that my children, and myself always demonstate such faith. And I truly believe that Daniel has heard the words, "Well done."